How to Spot the Signs of a Romance Scammer and Dealing with it.
While online dating and social media sites have grown in popularity as tools for finding love and friendship, they’ve also grown in popularity as tools for romance scammers.
Online dating services, social media sites, and professional networking accounts are all used by romance scammers to form relationships with their victims. They create false identities using stolen profile photographs and biographical information tailored to appeal to their target audience. They normally get their victim to leave the site immediately and communicate with them via email or SMS. It may just take a few weeks for them to express their undying love and begin testing the waters with minor demands once they’ve earned trust. So, what could we do and help ourselves or others? There are 3 steps to take into account on this matter:
1. INVESTIGATE
Investigate and look for signs. In this era of digital, everyone could be easily found and get engaged in social media or other digital “get to know” platforms. The first step in spotting a romance scammer is trying to seek more information about this particular “lover”. Their background, work, social activities, and so on, I know this may sound a little stalking so try to do it casually ”wink-wink”. Plus there is no harm in wanting to know more about your lover right?
There are a few signs that we should be aware of when encountering a new “rushed love/relationship”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about love at first sight and all that good stuff, but we also have to be aware of the situations like being “in” a relationship “so sudden” or “too quick to fall in love”. Romance scammers profess love quickly, and without actually meeting you “so it’s not love at first sight 😂.” They tend to lure you off the “dating site” and would try to gain trust from you in a short period. Other signs are claims to need money for emergencies, hospital bills or travel, etc. And lastly, their ultimate scam telling you that they have plans to visit you, but they always cancel due to “some emergency.”
It’s best to practice:
– Slowing down. Talk to someone about the relationship, and do not let the scammer rush you.
– Don’t give your money because you are never getting it back. Try mentioning “I’m sorry I’m also having some financial difficulties at the moment, although I can’t support you financially, emotionally I’m there for you” and you would immediately see the response from the scammer is either anger, find a way to threaten you “not going over to see you, or find other people, etc.” *Try this!
2. ACCEPTANCE
At the end of the day, if the investigation was a success and you manage to prove to others that this “person is real” and legit, then congrats to you, you’ve found a new love. On the other hand, if you realised that something when wrong, or if you’ve already been scammed and then the next stage for you is acceptance. Do not feel ashamed or let this affect you heavily in your emotions, many reports had found emotions leading to anxiety, shame, embarrassment, anger, depression, loss of trust in others, and all these characteristics may lead to suicidal ideation.
Accept the emotions. Take another look at the list above. Aren’t they some unpleasant feelings? When something like this occurs, people frequently experience intense emotions for a long time. This is very normal. It also doesn’t or shouldn’t last indefinitely. Many people discover that when they stop attempting to prevent feeling these things, or even avoiding feeling anything at all, and instead allow the feelings to happen, the emotions lose their power over them. They will lose their intensity. *Keep in mind that scammers are extremely smart people!
It’s best to practice:
Keep an eye on your thoughts and try to change them. Your thoughts could effects you by influencing your emotional state and they will motivate you to act in some way or make you feel bad if you are obsessing over what happened and engaging in negative self-talk.
(3) REACH OUT
Find the best supportive family and friends you can. A family member or close friend would always be there for you; instead of judging and joking about it, they would listen to you and empathize with your anguish.
Self-care is important and it comes in a variety of forms. Breaking down into three categories.
– One of them is to do activities like deep breathing, actively relaxing my shoulders, or stepping out of a situation for a few moments to relieve bad thoughts or emotions.
– The second thing is to engage in regular, enjoyable activities. This, to me, equates to developing resilience to deal with life’s stressors as they arise.
– And the third point to consider is having clear boundaries. This means knowing your limits in what you do and say, as well as letting others know how you want to be treated.
Stay In Touch
If you’re having issues encountering pre-post romance scam do reach out to us.