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How to Spot the Signs of a Romance Scammer and Dealing with it. While online dating and social media sites have grown in popularity as tools for finding love and friendship, they’ve also grown in popularity as tools for romance scammers. Online dating services, social media sites, and professional networking accounts are all used by romance scammers to form relationships with their victims. They create false identities using stolen profile photographs and biographical information tailored to appeal to their target audience. They normally get their victim to leave the site immediately and communicate with them via email or SMS. It may just take a few weeks for them to express their undying love and begin testing the waters with minor demands once they’ve earned trust. So, what could we do and help ourselves or others? There are 3 steps to take into account on this matter: 1. INVESTIGATE Investigate and look for signs. In this era of digital, everyone could be easily found and get engaged in social media or other digital “get to know” platforms. The first step in spotting a romance scammer is trying to seek more information about this particular “lover”. Their background, work, social activities, and so on, I know this may sound a little stalking so try to do it casually ”wink-wink”. Plus there is no harm in wanting to know more about your lover right?  There are a few signs that we should be aware of when encountering a new “rushed love/relationship”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about love at first sight and all that good stuff, but we also have to be aware of the situations like being “in” a relationship “so sudden” or “too quick to fall in love”. Romance scammers profess love quickly, and without actually meeting you “so it’s not love at first sight 😂.” They tend to lure you off the “dating site” and would try to gain trust from you in a short period. Other signs are claims to need money for emergencies, hospital bills or travel, etc. And lastly, their ultimate scam telling you that they have plans to visit you, but they always cancel due to “some emergency.” It’s best to practice:– Slowing down. Talk to someone about the relationship, and do not let the scammer rush you.– Don’t give your money because you are never getting it back. Try mentioning “I’m sorry I’m also having some financial difficulties at the moment, although I can’t support you financially, emotionally I’m there for you” and you would immediately see the response from the scammer is either anger, find a way to threaten you “not going over to see you, or find other people, etc.” *Try this! 2. ACCEPTANCE At the end of the day, if the investigation was a success and you manage to prove to others that this “person is real” and legit, then congrats to you, you’ve found a new love. On the other hand, if you realised that something when wrong, or if you’ve already been scammed and then the next stage for you is acceptance. Do not feel ashamed or let this affect you heavily in your emotions, many reports had found emotions leading to anxiety, shame, embarrassment, anger, depression, loss of trust in others, and all these characteristics may lead to suicidal ideation.  Accept the emotions. Take another look at the list above. Aren’t they some unpleasant feelings? When something like this occurs, people frequently experience intense emotions for a long time. This is very normal. It also doesn’t or shouldn’t last indefinitely. Many people discover that when they stop attempting to prevent feeling these things, or even avoiding feeling anything at all, and instead allow the feelings to happen, the emotions lose their power over them. They will lose their intensity. *Keep in mind that scammers are extremely smart people!  It’s best to practice:Keep an eye on your thoughts and try to change them. Your thoughts could effects you by influencing your emotional state and they will motivate you to act in some way or make you feel bad if you are obsessing over what happened and engaging in negative self-talk.  (3) REACH OUT Find the best supportive family and friends you can. A family member or close friend would always be there for you; instead of judging and joking about it, they would listen to you and empathize with your anguish. Self-care is important and it comes in a variety of forms. Breaking down into three categories. – One of them is to do activities like deep breathing, actively relaxing my shoulders, or stepping out of a situation for a few moments to relieve bad thoughts or emotions. – The second thing is to engage in regular, enjoyable activities. This, to me, equates to developing resilience to deal with life’s stressors as they arise. – And the third point to consider is having clear boundaries. This means knowing your limits in what you do and say, as well as letting others know how you want to be treated.  Stay In Touch If you’re having issues encountering pre-post romance scam do reach out to us. Find Counselor

#InspiredJoseph Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself. About Life What gives meaning to a person’s life is as unique to his/her fingerprint. To live your own life, you must begin to identify and prioritise what is most meaningful to you in your life. It is important to ask yourself if you are really living the life that you want. Do you make life choices based on your desires, beliefs and values? Or do you live on the expectations of those around you and the recipes you’ve learned from the past? In other words, who are you really living in?. Finding your own path can be time consuming and can require a lot of trial and error. The process of becoming your true self takes a lifetime. Here are 5 Steps to Live & Create Your Own Life! What Services I’m Providing Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. UI/UX Design Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo. Digital Marketing Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo. Web Development Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo. 1. Think About What You Really Want in Life For many of us, just knowing what we want in life can be a challenge. However, it is not possible to live your own life on your own terms, unless you define what your terms are. Being in touch with what you want and what matters to you helps you prioritise, develop goals and ultimately get where you want to go. Once you know what you want, you have a destination, and you can set course in that direction.   Discover what you truly want by asking yourself the following questions: What really lights me up? What matters most to me? Allow yourself to think freely, as you answer these questions instead of getting caught up in what you think you should be doing or what others would like for you to do. We often make the mistake of thinking that we are selfish if we spend time contemplating what we want, however this is a fundamental aspect of getting to know ourselves. Asking yourself what your principles are doesn’t mean that you will ignore everyone else’s. On the contrary, deciding what matters to you includes recognising the people who matter to you and acknowledging that they are a priority in your life and that caring for them is big part of what makes you happy and gives your life meaning.  Advice such as “follow your passion” may sound cliché, however researches has actually proven that people are not only happier when they follow their passions, they are also more likely to excel in their chosen careers and activities. A recent study on the effects of motivation found that the stronger the internal motivation for doing something, rather than the external rewards, the more likely people were to succeed. So, think about what is meaningful to you!   2. Differentiate Yourself We are all born genetically unique individuals. However, much of our identity is created by our early environments. We internalize characteristics of our caretakers and often take on their personalities rather than developing our own. In this sense, we often spend more time reliving the lives of others rather than living our own lives. A person’s true identity is affected throughout their lives by interpersonal experiences that either damage or support the development of his or her personality. Throughout our development, we adapt ourselves to cope with pain and fears, as they arise. We adapt so that we can deal with our early environment and get our needs met. One way we do this is by incorporating negative aspects of our parents’ or caretakers’ personalities or developing psychological defenses in reaction to their negative traits.  In order for us to live our own lives and fulfill our own future, we must differentiate ourselves from destructive family and societal influences. Most people either take on the value systems and beliefs of the family and culture they grew up in, or they rebel and form defiant attitudes in direct opposition to their family or culture. However, in order to live your own life, it is important to develop your own personal values and beliefs, rather than simply accepting or rejecting the values and beliefs of your early influencers. You should then make an effort to live according to your own principles, which will infuse your life with more meaning. Differentiating from the negative influences and identities from our past allows us to become who we truly are. To the extent that we are able to differentiate, develop our own unique identities and follow our own unique desires, we will be able to live the most fulfilling lives. We must strive to live our own lives rather than the lives prescribed by our parents, our families or our society. 3. Set Realistic Goals Once you are in touch with what you want and what your core values are, it is important to set some goals for yourself.  What do you need to accomplish to live your own life? It is helpful to write down your goals. Start with just a few, rather than overwhelming yourself with a large list of things that you would like to change. Think about specific actions you can take to achieve your goals. Start small and set waypoints that you can accomplish along the way. These waypoints will make it easier for you to keep yourself accountable and track your progress. For example, if your goal is to write and publish a book, your first waypoint could be to finish one chapter in the next two weeks. A recent study showed that people were significantly more likely to accomplish their goals if they wrote them down, formulated actions to achieve them and sent weekly progress reports to a friend.  To effectively tackle your goals, you may want to use that method.  Do you have a friend